Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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