Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
