I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
how drunk are you?
Several
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
