Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I need a burrito and a hug.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
