Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
