He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize