I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
