That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
