Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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