do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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