But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
