dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
