I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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