He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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