He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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