we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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