But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
