don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
