do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
