hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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