Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
