And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
