everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
