Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need moral support for this bender
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
