Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
