i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
