Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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