is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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