wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
