I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
