So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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