He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
