His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
BRING THE BAGELS
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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