well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
