Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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