I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
