YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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