i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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