I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
