Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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