$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
