just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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