my being single is dangerous.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want to make out with him forever
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
