Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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