good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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