Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
