you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
