is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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