wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
