I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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