Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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