I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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