he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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