It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
