I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
