I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize