Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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