She's JV to your varsity
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
