Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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