Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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