I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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