i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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