I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
