doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
