so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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