There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
