You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
