if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
